Monday, 1 October 2018

#myfirstporno - Deep Inside Nikki Dial

quote [ Starring: Bionca, Crystal Wilder, Melanie Moore, Nicole London, Nikki Dial, Jenna Wells ]

Oklahoma to this day still prohibits porn that shows penetration. This was it, the first hardcore porn I ever watched, at the age of 17.

#mysecondporno - The Erotic Adventures of Candy. I remember this one being so hilarious I could barely jerk to it. Sadly the memory was funnier than the reality.

I wish I could post #mythirdporno, because it was a dadaist masterpiece of social commentary. Sadly, though, it only existed on one tape.

See, my social circle knew a guy who was, in hindsight, a deeply closeted homosexual man. He was also the bad sort of fundamentalist Christian, and so was his wife. I got this eighth-hand, after it had been swiped from this guy by a fellow acquaintance and passed around as a shock video between us. As the story goes, the guys wife wanted to record a religious program and grabbed this tape. She asked him what was on it, and he panicked, afraid she would discover his hidden shame, and said "Oh, it's blank!" She said "Great!", popped it in, and hit record.

I don't even remember what it was called, only that it was cheaply produced and all the stars were fugly as hell. Standard "seduce the pizza guy" plot, and right when some action is about to start happening *bam* BILLY GRAHAM'S POWER HOUR! Then, after an interminable hour of the worst proselytizing (or five minutes of fast-forwards), Billy Graham makes his final prayer for the salvation of your soul and bids you goodnight *bam* ugly mustachioed man sucking another man's penis.

We all recoiled in horror, but some twenty years later, two gay guys going at it is the perfect response to anything Billy Graham ever had to say.
[NSFW] [pr0n] [+7 Hot Pr0n]
[by rndmnmbr@2:53amGMT]

Comments

arrowhen said @ 12:15am GMT on 2nd Oct [Score:1 Interesting]
My first porno was "Sexcapades", which is such a generic title that it sounds like it was invented for an episode of a sitcom where someone gets caught with a porno tape, but was an actual porn movie from 1983, with a plot and dialogue and everything.

The highlight I think was a woman stimulating a guy's asshole with her nipple at a porn audition after delivering the immortal line: "Look what I can do with my tit!"
hellboy said[1] @ 1:54am GMT on 3rd Oct [Score:1 Funny]
I don't remember the first hardcore porn movie I saw, because I didn't have private access to a VCR until I was in my mid-20s. I saw bits and pieces of stuff on stolen cable or at parties or in a neighbor's dorm room in college, and thought it was all terrible; there was one movie about a wedding that did actually try to be funny (and succeeded), but I didn't see enough of it to remember more than that.

The first softcore porn I remember watching was a Swedish movie called "Liz", which has never been released on DVD as far as I can tell. All I can find online is this:

LIZ (1976) Trailer


...which is pretty funny in its own way (and ironic, considering I did see the movie on TV, on some late-night cable while I was in high school and staying at a friend's house).

I later got into other Euro-porn like Emmanuelle 2, Joy & Joan and The Story of O, but I still don't remember the first hardcore porn I actually jerked off to. I always preferred some kind of story over the usual fake boobs, fake blondes, and white high-heel shoes in bed. I think the first hardcore porn I remember by name was Fashionistas, with Rocco Siffredi and Belladonna, but that was years later.
JWWargo said @ 3:58am GMT on 1st Oct
rexoedipus 3 days ago
Oh man!, she looks a like a petite version of my Mom!, gorgeous, hot body and an incredible sexual drive!


Porn sites get the best comments.
EvilNinjaX24 said @ 5:18am GMT on 1st Oct
Nikki Dial... MAN I had a crush on her for YEARS. I found her to be so incredibly perfect, especially when her hair (on her head) was big and curly.
Headlessfriar said @ 1:17pm GMT on 1st Oct
I’ve tried looking for my first, have had trouble. I swear it was called “totally amorous Amy”, and had John Ritter or at least his doppelgänger in a non-sex role. My google has failed me though.
ScoobySnacks said @ 2:39pm GMT on 1st Oct
Headlessfriar said @ 3:05pm GMT on 1st Oct
Nice. It cuts off the intro where she jogs through the nighbourhood so everyone knows it's time to booty call at her place, hence the line outside her door, and you miss the 80s theme song to the movie too. But yeah, this is it.
JWWargo said @ 10:10pm GMT on 1st Oct
Silent said @ 2:56pm GMT on 1st Oct
I have also tried finding my first.
I however, do not know the name, only the (basic) plot line.
Yes, my first porno was so 90's it had a plotline and fancy transitions.

The basic plot is as follows:-
Newly married couple return home from the honeymoon, to find the husband's sister has hired some sexy (and insatiable) help around the home, in an effort to tempt the husband into leaving his new wife.
I believe there were three young women hired around the house, but I mainly recall the maid and the pool girl.
In an attempt to try and find the film years ago I vaguely recall finding a title along the lines of a play on the "two's company" line, but that was a decade ago.

As you can tell from my description, it was an exceedingly good film, but I haven't seen it since about 1999/2000.
rndmnmbr said[1] @ 11:17pm GMT on 1st Oct [Score:1 Good]
Raise your hand if you remember late-night Cinemax/Showtime. IIRC, Emmanuelle was the first time I saw bush on TV.

Jeez, I remember being 13, catching a glimpse of pubic hair on TV, and cumming buckets. These days I'm getting ever more selective and extreme in my tastes, I won't even get a chub if it doesn't have some special appeal to me.

e. I can feel another porn post coming on.
mechanical contrivance said @ 12:57pm GMT on 2nd Oct
First bush I saw on TV was either one of the Emmanuelle movies or a weird, Italian thriller movie called Obsession: A Taste for Fear.
endopol said @ 5:07pm GMT on 1st Oct
#myfirstporno was a soft-core on VHS that I watched at a friend's house. I forget the title, but it was a pair of married couples that decide to mix things up. The two lines I remember are
"Ooh, mimosas in the morning"
and
"I don't need my wife to pimp for me!"
TM said @ 8:25pm GMT on 1st Oct
My first porno? Debbie Does Dallas. Yes, really.
mechanical contrivance said @ 8:30pm GMT on 1st Oct
MY first porno was a tiny, highly compressed, 5 second long clip of a dick going into a vagina.
the circus said @ 11:52pm GMT on 1st Oct
Taboo, on vhs.
blacksun said @ 4:33pm GMT on 5th Oct
Me too
knumbknutz said @ 12:00am GMT on 2nd Oct
Mine was something with a real young Ron Jeremy and some other guy in it that were tag teaming Seka. Ron was playing a carpenter that was fixing stuff when the couple get home.

Ahhhh - pre fucking internet and shortly before beta/VHS. Kids today will never know the struggle of having to burn a couple bucks in quarters to get through the "acting and plot" phase of the film before they actually get to the boinking. No fast forward option either.
steele said @ 3:51am GMT on 2nd Oct
I don't remember the name of my first porno, but I think it had doctor or nurse somewhere in the title and it was about this guy showing up to a mansion or something where they were going to fix his impotence by showing him all sorts of depravity as they went from room to room seeking what it was that he was into. I spent an hour or so googling for porn titles with the word doctor in them from the 70's and 80's and didn't find one that seemed familiar. The Island of Doctor Love seemed like the closest from the description, but that wasn't it as far as I can tell. Dr. Blacklove's title logo had an X attached to the R in doctor (for Rx) which seemed sort of familiar, but the plot didn't match what I remember.

I'll gift a silver if someone can find the one I'm looking for.
ScoobySnacks said @ 4:21am GMT on 2nd Oct
steele said @ 12:52pm GMT on 2nd Oct
Nope. Also not Dr Penetration, Dr. Desire, or Dr. Sex. :(

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