The point is non-consensual aggression/violence?

I playfully smacked a gf on the butt once (like baseball) and she pointed out that, that, was bedroom only behavior and I appreciated the clarification/communication-of-expectations.

This is the longer article: Here

"She set up a campaign group, We Can't Consent to This, after she noticed a rise in the number of cases where women had been killed during a so-called 'sex game gone wrong' - and where consent was used as a defence or mitigation."

...

"People come to me when they've had 'near misses'; when strangulation or 'choking out' has overstepped the mark, and they were unconscious for a long time.

...

"I know some women will say they like this. What is problematic is when men assume that every woman wants this."
...

Those are all very reasonable concerns/statements.

The reported survey question/headline seems like it's vague- just basic shitty reporting on a survey.

Do men assume that every woman wants to be choked?

Men assume that if they want to choke a woman, its okay to just do it.

Too many Nike commercials.

As in most things, communication is the key. So much stupidity could be avoided if people just talked about shit. I learned LONG ago that, if there's someone I'm looking to get intimate with, then I'm asking questions and laying a foundation of dos and don'ts so that there are no miscues when the deed is being done. The last woman I was with liked her hair pulled and her ass smacked (amongst other things), and I knew that for YEARS before we finally went at it.

We guys often suck at expressing emotion. Intimacy in particular. Porn is cheap, ubiquitous with phones, and is consumed almost constantly. Subjects of porn is also getting rougher.

I know I am talking out of my ass here. But I think we have been thaught by our parents to have an identity based on not being female. And we keep teaching ourselves to think intimacy is to dominate and destroy.

I think this is a big part of it. What you found - or what you were told to find via pornography - erotic at the time you were discovering your sexuality sets the tone of what you find erotic for life. I don't like aggressive, violent pornography but then my first pornography was a copy of Mayfair and my first pornographic movie was something early 70s with no aggressive behaviour whatsoever.

Could check out. I remember buying a copy of some top-shelf magazine when I was about 10 or something (my friend James and I explained that we'd been sent to buy it by his dad) and one of the stand-out "spreads" in said grumble mag was a lady flashing her tits in the middle of Leicester Square in London. Since then, I'm all about the sneaky flashes in public places.

Hmph. Apparently there are guys who haven't yet gotten the message that porn is not instructional videos. I've had girls like it when I swat them on the ass during doggy style or like a hand on the throat (but not choking), but I've only done so after it was requested, and only with women I had been with for a while.

I suppose I shouldn't really be surprised, but... yeesh.

I slept with a date a year or so ago, and afterwards she thanked me for not choking her. Like that was the default for every guy she sleeps with, and it was a breath of fresh air to not be choked.

Both literally and figuratively, I imagine.

I'm surprised that a lot of people find choking to be erotic. There doesn't seem to be any benefit to such a kink except in cases of rape.

On reflection, I seem to have answered my own question.

People like it for the same reason teenagers like huffing paint. Its a cheap, quick, accessible 'high.'

They are also really defensive about it when you say you aren't into it because it causes brain damage and other injuries. Or they try to explain how the way THEY choke people totally can't cause injuries because they don't put pressure on the windpipe, they just put a lot of pressure on the chest, or cover their noise and mouth simultaneously, or cut off bloodflow rather than the windpipe.