Sunday, 31 December 2017

Placenta Chili

quote [ I personally just wanted to try my hand at cannibalism, and test out a new and challenging ingredient. ]

One day there will be legends told of this woman, and those of us who knew her will just nod and say "Yeah, she was exactly like that."

Not work safe and not mind safe.

Her ICU nurse blog, sadly not updated in a long time.

Elise + gin + an encyclopedic knowledge of Tolkien = musings on a silicon Sindarin schlong. Will likely require a Something Awful account to read.

Her most horrifying story. If you think the above is grisly and horrible, you haven't seen nothing yet. BE WARNED.

[NSFW] [food & drink] [+5 WTF]
[by rndmnmbr@1:32amGMT]

Comments

SnappyNipples said @ 2:12am GMT on 31st Dec
I didn't even bother opening up the link....
rndmnmbr said @ 2:44am GMT on 31st Dec [Score:1 Informative]
It's actually a really good chili recipe.
SnappyNipples said @ 6:11am GMT on 31st Dec
I live in texas, I'm constantly tripping over good chili recipes.
lilmookieesquire said @ 2:56am GMT on 31st Dec
Can anyone recommend a good substitute for placenta?
Ankylosaur said @ 3:01am GMT on 31st Dec [Score:4 Funny]
Tofenta.
lilmookieesquire said @ 4:08am GMT on 31st Dec [Score:1 Funny]
You laugh but it is the vegan alternative.
rndmnmbr said @ 2:58am GMT on 31st Dec [Score:1 Informative]
Chicken livers, soaked in milk.
5th Earth said[1] @ 3:32am GMT on 31st Dec
I think her analysis of Sindarin genitalia is way more complicated than it needs to be. I can think of several more plausible alternatives.

edit: well, not exactly too complicated; but I can think of explanations that don't resort to alien anatomy.
Dienes said @ 4:58am GMT on 31st Dec
But what fun is that?
5th Earth said @ 5:45am GMT on 31st Dec
I like consenticles as much as anybody, but in this case it really stretches my suspension of disbelief. Especially since she was on such a promising track with the notion of anaphylactic shock as a means of enforcing fidelity, combined with the notion that something about female elves is required for males to achieve erection.

Consider: a primary physical symptom of an immune response is inflammation. So: guy elves can't get it up without an external chemical stimulus triggering an inflammatory response in their junk. Female elves secrete the necessary chemicals upon arousal, but variations between individuals means that unless the male has taken careful steps to acclimate himself over time to a specific female, the response is fatal anaphylaxis (or at least really unpleasant). Too much acclimation, though, and the male becomes totally immune and can't get it up once again. So he has to carefully balance and limit his exposure level over time to successfully have sex at all, if he even wants to bother.

It explains everything: low birthrates, enforced fidelity, inability to masturbate, why all crossbreeds have human fathers (who can achieve erection without chemical stimulus and who are sufficiently different genetically to be immune).
rndmnmbr said @ 8:52am GMT on 31st Dec [Score:1 WTF]
While you are arguably correct, your hypothesis would not have resulted in this glory:

Dienes said @ 3:17pm GMT on 31st Dec
I'm still salty I missed the chance to pick one of those up.
lilmookieesquire said @ 6:25pm GMT on 31st Dec
I wonder if being a elf-dildo designer is a great job or a horrible one.
cb361 said @ 6:33pm GMT on 31st Dec
I depends whether they keep you locked in the goblin mines or not.
mechanical contrivance said @ 10:12pm GMT on 31st Dec
Why would anyone mine for goblins?
5th Earth said @ 12:06am GMT on 1st Jan
Goblinite is a well-loved resource in Dwarf Fortress.
lilmookieesquire said @ 6:24pm GMT on 31st Dec
I laugh at imagining Token seeing his hard work reduced (expanded?) to a set of books with an (elf?) dildo.
rndmnmbr said @ 8:58am GMT on 31st Dec [Score:1 Hot Pr0n]
Also,

"Other than that, I wrote a giant essay about elf dicks while drunk, but this does not make me an expert in actual elf dicks and my opinion should not be the thing you cling to. More like... the thing you hold at arm's length between thumb and middle finger while looking for the garden hose."

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