a Canadian's ass is like a Play-doh Fun Factory

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Monday, 21 August 2017

Of course Donald Trump looked directly into the sun

quote [ Yes, our devil-may-care commander in chief did the thing he is best at and ignored the absolute unyielding consensus recommendation of the world?s doctors, scientists, and subject experts, and looked directly into the blinding motherfucking sun during the eclipse. Perhaps he did not understand the rationale behind the specially tinted glasses, or he merely did not think it applied to him; perhaps he forgot, or thought himself stronger than the sun itself. It really doesn?t matter. It was fate fulfilling itself, because of course if there is one single thing that everyone knows about the eclipse?you shouldn?t look directly at it?Donald Trump would do it.

Then do it a second time. ]

WTF is The Onion even supposed to write about now?
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[by foobar@8:39pm
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Tuesday, 8 August 2017

Trump tweets gratitude to Russian twitterbot

quote [ Even as the president has railed against multiple investigations into Russia?s meddling in U.S. politics, he may have become Exhibit A of the foreign government?s influence by elevating a suspected Russia-connected social-media user ? part a sophisticated campaign to exacerbate disputes in U.S. politics and gain the attention of the most powerful tweeter in the world. ]

Not technically a bot. Full text in extended because Washington Post.

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[by midden@1:54am
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Saturday, 5 August 2017

Appointment Of Beaker As White House Communications Director Draws High Praise

quote [ The fledgling Trump Presidency appears to finally be finding its groove after what was arguably one of its rockiest weeks. Calm was first restored with the appointment of retired General John Kelly as a Chief... ]

Poes law enactment in 3...2...1...
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[by knumbknutz@2:24pm
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Tuesday, 1 August 2017

Breaking News: Texas calf resembles Gene Simmons

quote [ Simmons himself was delighted, tweeting: "This is real, folks!!!" ]

This is the End Times, for sure.

The infamous Terry Gross interview in extended.

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[by midden@10:33pm
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Thursday, 20 July 2017

High-Ranking Republican Asks NASA Bizarre Question About Martians Live On TV

quote [ America?s House Committee on Science, Space, and Technology is, to put it politely, a joke.
The Republican-dominated chamber is lacking in actual scientists, full of climate change deniers, and it regularly shares Breitbart articles on its Trump apologist-themed Twitter feed of falsehoods. Despite being able to direct the country?s science policy, it is about as scientifically knowledgeable as a dog.

One of the high-ranking members of this committee, Dana Rohrabacher, has said some truly remarkable things in the past, but he?s just outdone himself. During a panel with several space science experts, including those from NASA, he asked: ?Is it possible that there was a civilization on Mars thousands of years ago?? ]
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[by foobar@3:45am
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Monday, 17 July 2017

Fart forces passengers from plane at RDU, spokesperson says

quote [ A person who ?passed gas? on an American Airlines plane on Sunday afternoon forced all passengers off the jet, officials said ]

I'm sure we will soon see Trump and the alt-right referring to this as a failed terrorist attack in North Carolina
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[by rylex@4:49am
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Saturday, 15 July 2017

UK spookhaus GCHQ can crack end-to-end encryption, claims Australian A-G

quote [ Well, the laws of Australia prevail in Australia, I can assure you of that. The laws of mathematics are very commendable but the only laws that applies in Australia is the law of Australia. ]
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[by foobar@2:16am
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Saturday, 1 July 2017

Celebrity vs Reality, by Celeste Barber

quote [ Celeste Barber Actor. Comedian. Writer. Lady. ]

It's been a while since I laughed so hard about reality. Genius.
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Friday, 30 June 2017

Wrestling Villain Called "The Progressive Liberal"

quote [ "It's not like I'm pretending to be something I'm not." ]

Excuse the shit-rag source, it's pasted down below and posted here because I thought it was funny af.

[NSFW] [humor] [+9 Funny]
[by lilmookieesquire@2:49am
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