Monday, 11 July 2016
quote [ I found it interesting when the world ended and I didn't. I had always expected there would be an end to my own life, but to be around to see all of it go was quite the surprise. It wasn't a spectacular end, full of fire and brimstone or the tearing of the fabric of space. It was more of a dulling, a fading out. The universe took its time ending. ]
Most recent short fiction I've written. I gave it a test reading last night at the revival of the anything goes open mic at Ong King in Chinatown, Honolulu. Full story in extended.
Title was inspired by a Bertrand Russell thought experiment.
The first draft was written in one sitting from beginning to end with minimal editing, so my next step will be to isolate the core of the story and the character and develop those. (Personally, I feel like the pacing is off, and the ending comes too suddenly.) Please excuse any spelling/grammar errors, I haven't gone through it with a fine toothed comb yet. Any other feedback is very much welcomed. Also, feel free to post anything you've written or are working on in the comments. THE MIND WITHIN THE HEAD WITHIN THE MIND
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Onix said @ 11:01pm GMT on 11th Jul
[Score:2]
Good to have you back.
++++++ The raid By José Carlos Martínez ORAL REPORT ENTRY 22/12/56 Hssssssssss. Lieutenant Magritte recording, hoping that someone will find this recording and play it, perhaps before I decide to do something about my life … Sorry if I get too personal, but in my situation I don’t really give a shit about what people think about me. How to start? … Hell, let’s start with this … Sigh. Whatever brought me here, and I don’t mean this hellish place but my career, has no importance now. Money, fame, sex, whatever. This is not the place I wanted to be in the end, that’s for certain. The box I found, how could it even do this? This sky, this ground. Even the sun. This is not a place I’ve met before, and I am certain it’s not in the Solar System. And the dam box took me here. The air feels different, heavy, like it’s rotting, like it’s dead. Where the fuck I am? I have no fucking idea. I have no comms. No radio. Nothing. How can I get outta here? I am even afraid to walk and see what’s around. All I see are these black towers and torrents of people coming. How did it happen? Sorry, I have to come down, this is a report after all. Maybe it will be found someday, next to my rotting body or in a pile of monster shit. I’ll be methodical and provide as much detail as I can, perhaps too much and too personal, but like I said before, I don’t care, sorry for the bad words and the lack of etiquette, but I don’t think that matters a lot right now. Okay. Here we go. The ship landed on Pluto as usual, no activities, nothing special. Just us and the planet, frozen as always, save for the hot spot on the surface. We had changed the landing area in order to check it. On a planet of moving icebergs and eternal cold, something as hot as five Celsius is worth checking. But had we known … Ah, it wouldn’t have made a difference anyway. Okay, so … The drones were sent and returned with nothing, save for the last one. And that’s when things got weird. The images. Something big and black as Hell, moving. Janick said it was Godzilla and we laughed, because that thing on the screen could not be real, it had to be interference of some sort, a small iceberg perhaps. And then the satellite did not show any images. So the damn thing was not real. And we kept telling ourselves that it wasn’t even when the ship was cracked open by tentacles and we were being killed and eaten like peanuts in a bowl. We hid in the escape pods and waited for the damn thing to eat us. And didn’t happen. Mora and I waited and feared for the worst for what seemed like hours while we tumbled, like leaves in a hurricane. And when we came outside the pod I felt like I was waking from a bad dream. The ship was torn to pieces and spread in a circular pattern, and in the middle … ridiculously small, was this box, this damn black box with patterns on it. And I took it. I guess that was the most stupid thing I could have done, but after what happened in the end, it would have made no difference if I took it or not. I put it inside the suit’s compartment and forgot about it for a while. Mora and I walked to the base. Four hours under the dark, deep in the upper area of the so-called “Heart.” We were freezing, and the batteries were emptying fast. The temperature was barely enough to keep us alive, and we kept on walking to the base. We should have landed there in the first place, instead of checking on the hot spot, but like I said before, perhaps it would not have changed anything. In any case, we were following orders, and like it happens in the worse times for explorers, miners, and cops, we were following orders when tragedy fell upon us. I kept seeing dark shadows looming above us, and I even thought I saw something flying, sometimes covering the light of the stars. But I knew that was impossible since the atmosphere was not thick enough to allow something to fly on its own power. And yet, I kept on seeing things. And when we finally found the base on the distance, Mora and I almost jumped with joy, and we would have done so if we had enough air. As soon as we got into range we called on the radio, asking for help and to report what happened. And nobody answered. Another hour and the first symptoms of inhaling carbon dioxide were already clouding our brains, but we kept on walking, holding each other like little girls, when we finally reached a hatch and entered. As soon as the airlock was closed and air began to flow the entry chamber we removed our helmets and began to breathe in the air. I fell on my knees and Mora fell heavily on her back, with her empty tanks keeping her from hitting her head. We stayed there for maybe an hour and I opened the door to the base. And the smell inside made me choke. When you’ve been in the army like I had, you recognize the smell of burnt meat, human meat. They called it “long pig” smell. And I had never smelled it in such a concentration. Doors were torn, walls were broken and in the promenade, a pyramid made of blackened human skulls awaited for us. Mora lost it and opened her mouth as if to scream when we saw them. They were humanoids, covered in what seemed blood-drenching human skins, chewing on bones. And rioting like birds, above their heads, long-necked things with wings, flying in and out the base, through its broken dome. And the dome opened, not to the cold skies of Pluto, but to a reddish mass of clouds which smelled like sulfur and brimstone. “Hell,” I said in amazement and half not believing it. But that wasn’t Pluto’s air we were breathing because that would have killed us in seconds. That was the sky of another world. The creatures didn’t seem to mind us, and they regarded us with a lazy stare that I recognized as the one someone has after eating too much and not having any interest in more food. Their bellies were distended to such a point that they seemed about to break, and perhaps fill the promenade with half-digested human remains. Mora and I moved slowly towards the warehouse and as soon as we got inside I began replenishing our oxygen tanks. We had another walk ahead of us, this time to the hangars. The plan was to reach a trans-Neptunian space station or even a moon. “Inna, what has happened?” the poor girl asked me. She looked so frail and small in her suit and I felt something moving inside of me. They always told that me I saw Mora as a daughter, but I knew better. I was in love with her and in that very moment, my throat felt like a giant hand was squeezing it and I was unable to answer. “Inna?” she asked again and I had to rely on my training to calm down and try and provide an answer. “I don’t know. It is like something opened, a door to somewhere else. That thing that attacked the ship, it came out through it and returned. It’s in the hot spot area. And when it destroyed the ship and left … The damn box!” I remembered the box, inside my back compartment. I opened it and took it outside. I was able to see it under the light for the first time. It was as big as a human head, a perfect cube, with intricate patterns on its black surface. When I touched it, some of the patterns felt like moving, suggesting buttons of some sort. “Maybe it’s a key. They used it to open the door and come here.” “But why here?”, she asked. “Because there are not many of us here? I don’t know, but we have to contact some other outposts and tell them about it. Maybe this is happening somewhere else. As soon as we make it to a ship we will call them from there. I don’t want to risk ourselves trying to reach comms with those things out there,” I said. “They are eating our friends,” Mora said, with an unexpected coldness. “There’s nothing we can do about it now,” I said and filled another set of air tanks. After a while, I opened the warehouse’s hatch to its pressure chamber and we went outside, hoping to find a ship. Half an hour later we were ready to hop into one and I was glad to find that it had not been harmed. And this time, I really saw those things flying above us, apparently not very interested in doing us any harm. “They fly on their own,” I thought while wondering at how they were able to resist the cold outside and maneuver as well as they did inside the base. When we entered the ship I used the network to call all the outposts and Earth. I radio called and sent the telemetry of our suits as well as accessed the logs of the base and our destroyed ship and transmitted them. And I made the mistake to peek into the base logs. I saw a light in the promenade area. And then people just started to hurt each other. I saw friends I knew for years hurting others, jumping and biting their faces like animals. I saw them tearing their clothes apart and their skin changing into black, their bodies drying and becoming the humanoids we saw. I saw the dome breaking and big black tentacles entering, and what seemed like glowing red eyes piercing the darkness. I saw the monsters flying over those who remained human and were killed and eaten, and then I threw up on myself. Mora had arrived at that very moment to see what happened and I turned off the screens and changed into fatigues. After exiting Pluto’s gravity and entering deep space we received a confirmation from Jupiter-5, acknowledging the signal. I remember the face of the comms officer talking to me, with his eyes wide open and his face, a face I had only seen in war, when survivors went hysterical or in the middle of a PTSD attack. I bet that man also threw up on himself. We acknowledged back and then minutes later we were ordered to head to Mars in order to enter the military medical facility in Cydonia in order to be checked for diseases. We could not risk going to a smaller base in the Solar System and start a massive contagion without the proper containment measures. It would take 24 more hours to reach Mars, and only six had passed when we began to hear the emergency calls. First Neptune, the Saturnian moon colonies, Jupiter and then Mars. Uranus was on the other side of Solar System so it took other five hours to hear them. I knew what was happening. The same thing as Pluto. The bigger bases had more time to react than the smaller Plutonian outpost and actually transmitted emergency calls. It was all the same. Some big black things crawling out of nowhere, crew members becoming cannibalistic monsters. There were actually no weapons in any base since the Unification wars, so those who did not change had no opportunity against the others. Mars had the bigger base and resisted for a longer time. Mora and I saw the feeds from the base. Barricades being risen, and barricades being overrun by monsters. And satellite images of those things coming from thermal anomalies on the planet surface. Big black things, with tentacles and bodies resembling humanoid giants. Giant hands and feet, disproportionate and grotesque. When we reached Mars there was no place to land since the civilian colonies were also destroyed or overtaken. “Inna, take me to Earth, please,” Mora told me, with that strange cold expression in her eyes. My girl, my child was looking at me with the eyes of an old woman who had seen too much and just wanted to go home. I called Earth’s command and waited for an answer for 15 minutes. I called again and silence was the only response I got. When we got closer I scanned the Moon and space stations. I saw the big black blotches on the Moon and the space platforms torn to pieces. Nobody had to tell me, this was an invasion and it had succeeded. It was like the raid of London or Paris. A surprise maneuver and a strong blow against an unsuspecting enemy. But that was necessary to rid the world of the scourge of capitalism. To unify mankind and end the threat of war. Quite the contrary, this invasion seemed unreasonable as it had been effective. What would the invaders want taking the outposts which were nothing than science endeavors? They could have taken only Earth’s defenses and claim themselves victorious with no need to waste resources out there. Why the humiliation on civilians when they seemed capable of taking on humanity’s postwar military? And most important, why would some people change and become their pawns? Why not all of the crew members? I scanned Earth and saw a repetition of the European invasion all over the globe. The air was being obscured by enormous fires and those giants were everywhere. Dark clouds, like starling swarms, were following them, and I could only assume that they were the winged things. More magnification and I could see people running from groups of cannibals on the streets. Warships were sent flying through the air like children toys by giant monsters in the seas. I was shocked. We floated in orbit for five days, watching the destruction below us. We had to land but I resisted the idea. Then Mora came with a better plan for both of us. “We should commit suicide,” she said. Serious as ever. I was scared of her, of how much she had changed. She was no longer my baby, but a 100-year-old woman, with dark circles under her eyes and trembling hands. I said yes and took out my charge weapon, a small pistol we officers carry around, in case we got stranded in space with no chance to be rescued. I guessed this was one of those occasions. I removed the safety and contemplated it in my hand. It felt tremendously heavy and I looked at Mora’s eyes, trembling in doubt so much that she noticed it. “There’s no other way out Inna,” she said. And then, I remembered, I remembered the box. The box with the buttons. Maybe I could find a way to close the door, to send those things back to wherever they came. I took it out of the compartment and had a look at it. Those were definitely buttons on it. Big buttons like those of a TV recorder. Mora said “no,” but it was already too late. I pushed the buttons with a big desperate slap of my hands. And I found myself here. In this place I don’t recognize, with an atmosphere of death and decay that seems so far away from any conceivable experience I had before, under these massive monolithic buildings with strange shadows. It’s horrible. And Mora … God … Mora was still on board the ship. I pushed the buttons again and nothing happened. I tried, and tried and tried, over and over again. It was like a single shot, like a one-use door to this place. I think I faded and fell on the ground, with the weight of defeat and exhaustion pushing over me. I dreamed of Mora trying to enter Earth’s atmosphere by herself and the ship burning in the process. I saw my love torn apart and burnt to cinders, with her eyes fixed on me. I woke up in time to see people, or what seemed like people, coming. I found a place to hide and saw a procession of the humanoid things arriving at the monoliths, with trophies. Women and children, half naked and hurt, being dragged to the city of darkness behind me, while the beasts were chanting something like “Yiah, yiah! Yuggr lagr!”. And then it dawned on me. The reason behind all this madness. The boxes were a one-time device for the monsters to use. The creatures were made from human flesh, to be activated when they were needed, perhaps taking millennia and transmitting their genes to their descendants until the right moment, when they were required to loot and take away prisoners with them, back to this place. And the reason why was pretty clear when I saw the giants arriving too, taking the prisoners with their massive hands and gorging themselves with them. The only reason to raid our planet, our bases and stations is to eat. I remembered all those stories of the old gods demanding sacrifice and I knew I was watching them, coming from time to time to remind man how small it was compared to them, and how easy it was to prey on humanity. We are their cattle. I looked around for my charge gun and was unable to find it. But it was lost, as lost as Mora was in space. I had lost everything and wanted to die. And I will die. I will deliver myself to the monsters to be eaten and destroyed by their gods. And maybe I’ll meet Mora again, somewhere, and I’ll apologize for being such an idiot. And I’ll also apologize, profusely, for never telling her that I loved her. End of recording. Oh shit. Tsssssssss. |
JWWargo said @ 6:36am GMT on 12th Jul
[Score:1 Good]
+1 Lovecraftian. I like the idea of something sinister happening on Pluto. Seems far away being on the outskirts of our solar neighborhood, but it's closer than you think. Nobody suspects Pluto...
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Onix said @ 9:25pm GMT on 12th Jul
Nobody suspected Pluto, until Mickey was killed. Good to have you back around JW.
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midden said @ 10:52pm GMT on 11th Jul
I haven't even read it yet, but I'll be giving you a +1 just for the proper used of "fine toothed comb."
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JWWargo said @ 6:40am GMT on 12th Jul
I'm proud of myself whenever just getting its/it's right.
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midden said @ 10:45am GMT on 12th Jul
Correcting that is one of my prime uses of the edit feature on SE. Its so easy to miss.
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b said @ 6:46pm GMT on 12th Jul
This is just a goofy little story I wrote last year based on a writing prompt of a skeleton in a messy room.
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