Tuesday, 20 May 2014

What it's like to own a Tesla Model S

quote [ A cartoonist's review of his magical space car. - By The Oatmeal ]

With my own electric scooters and their batteries being Chinese, all the Chinese electric scooters and bikes I saw in Shanghai and India, it's nice getting some positive buzz about an American electric vehicle producer. Practical experience, reasoned promotion fueled by electric excitement. Boogie woogie, woogie.


[SFW] [science & technology] [+10 Classy Pr0n]
[by ComposerNate@11:12amGMT]


Bob Denver said @ 3:55pm GMT on 20th May [Score:4 Hot Pr0n]
The Tesla is a stunning car and it has proven that the future is some form of electric. However, as a motorcyclist, I drool over the Lightning LS-218, the fastest production motorcycle ever. It reduces seasoned motorcycle journalists to squealing little girls/boys
lilmookieesquire said @ 4:54pm GMT on 20th May [Score:1 Hot Pr0n]
I've had my eyes on electric bikes for a long time (out of my price range) but these look slick as hell.

I want to see a tron/akira version of these.

That said, I think electric bikes really shine in terms of smaller payloads and parking to charge.

Lately I've had plans rolling around in my head to make an electric gokart for my sister's kids. I love how this tech is progressing.

That said, batteries are still the deal breaker in terms of production and waste pollution.

In the far future I hope they get nuclear (rechargeable?) batteries the size if wristwatch batteries that can be held in little containment holders the size of a football etc.
ComposerNate said @ 5:13pm GMT on 20th May
ComposerNate said @ 9:29pm GMT on 20th May
In February 2014, the Automotive Science Group (ASG) published the result of a study conducted to assess the life-cycle of over 1,300 automobiles across nine categories sold in North America. The study ranked the Model S as the best environmental performance in the 2014 full-size cars category. Based on the assessment of life-cycle environmental footprint, the study concluded that the increased environmental impacts of manufacturing the battery electric technology is more than offset with increased environmental performance during operational life. For the assessment, the study used the average electricity mix of the U.S. grid in 2014. The Nissan Leaf was the advanced automotive technology car with the smallest life-cycle environmental footprint of any model year 2014 automobile available in the North American market.
lilmookieesquire said @ 5:52am GMT on 21st May
"The Automotive Science Group was founded by ECO-INNOVATIONS, LLC, an environmental policy consulting group established in 2007 in Seattle, Washington. ECO-INNOVATIONS is dedicated to the development of dynamic, data-driven environmental and economic performance ratings for consumer durable goods."

I'm not sure I trust this group- but I get what you are saying.
windex said @ 2:59pm GMT on 20th May [Score:2 Good]
I've owned tesla stock for awhile and after elon musks step up to fund the museum I decided what the hell and put in a deposit on one.

Will report back when it lights on fire and renders me hairless and sterile.
Bleb said @ 12:52am GMT on 21st May
Have you got a Subaru WRX that you need someone to take off your hands for you?
windex said @ 1:14pm GMT on 22nd May
Sold that ages ago. Sorry. :)
GordonGuano said @ 11:22am GMT on 20th May [Score:1 Funny]
Ha ha, all you breeders have to worry about what kind of a world you're leaving your offspring.
ComposerNate said @ 11:30am GMT on 20th May
George Takei especially loves young straight couples, because they're going to be making the gay babies of tomorrow.
GordonGuano said @ 11:47am GMT on 20th May
His Facebook posts are a treasure. But I'm counting on any grandchildren I would have had living in a hot version of The Road, electric cars or no (or at the very least, not being any of the 6,000 people left when the supervolcano under Yellowstone decides to vent its spleen), so the best legacy I can leave them is to not have them.

AssBastard said @ 3:19pm GMT on 20th May
I'm doing my nonexistent offspring a favor and not passing on my fucking mental illness and propensity for obesity to them. Shame about not passing on my stunning good looks, though. They'd be sexy little minxes.
GordonGuano said @ 6:24pm GMT on 20th May [Score:1 Classy Pr0n]
Fat, psychotic, sexy minxes ;)
cb361 said @ 6:29pm GMT on 20th May
Are those like Fat, psychotic, sexy minks?
AssBastard said @ 8:12am GMT on 22nd May
You're goddamn right.
arrowhen said @ 3:53pm GMT on 20th May
My genes are OK, I just fucking hate children.
lilmookieesquire said @ 5:13pm GMT on 20th May [Score:2 Funny]
I don't think I can bare to look at their shitty pictures and be like "that's great!".

It's the constant lying, money-time-lifestyle sacrifices, and then dealing with your kid (periodically) hating you- that I don't think I can deal with. I'm quite happy with my nephew and niece (the name lives on kind of) and when they freak out they go back to the sister.

I just don't have the resources to give them the educational opportunities and life-experiences I had.

I don't want to have the argument that my kid needs to have a good stable job in a growth industry like a terror-drome nuclear-fusion listening-outpost operations specialist on outpost delta-17-A-15 but they JUST HAVE TO BE a fucking Peruvian neo-classical jetpack designer- and you KNOW they won't listen to you. Then after spending all your space-credits on testicular-breast-implants (and that god awful 3rd tongue extension- I mean I guess I can understand the second one, but the third was just excessive!) they come home and complain about my cast iron skillet coated in the remains of carcinogen animal entrails instead of using our plasto-fusion-McTacoBurgersJr.-nuclear fusation device to heat up our god awful Soylent-food-substitute which they like just fine and don't want to hear about "real food" like mcdonalds-live-cow-slaughter-WW2-web2.0burgers that they learned all about from history class.
arrowhen said @ 6:28pm GMT on 20th May
All that, plus a baby would likely annoy my 15 cats.
spazm said @ 6:37pm GMT on 20th May
GordonGuano said @ 4:06am GMT on 21st May
Just reading that sentence makes me itch and look for a Kleenex.
LurkerAtTheGate said @ 5:37pm GMT on 20th May
I can tolerate children, but my genes are crap. Neighbor lady has openly expressed desire to have my babies because I'm intelligent and chill -- wife had to explain that "good genetics" means way more than that (and we're not even sure how much of that stuff is inheritable). Organs removed because they went rogue, started producing stones instead of whatever normal juices. Big chunks of flesh missing from biopsies. Near blind. In agonizing pain for no good reason at least once a week. Early 30s, good shape, not overweight; yet, blood pressure up near stroke range.

Sure! You can have my genes for babies! They may self-destruct explosively though.
snowfox said @ 7:49pm GMT on 24th May
As long as those traits don't negatively affect your ability to reproduce in your youth, you can be sure they'll be perpetuated! Yay!
GordonGuano said @ 12:23pm GMT on 20th May [Score:1 Funny]
+1 Hot Pr0n was for the picture of Falcor banging the Ferrari. The little tease was asking for it.
vintuk said @ 12:43pm GMT on 20th May
MadMarchHarris said @ 12:44pm GMT on 20th May [Score:1 laz0r]
I went a step further on fuel economy and just never purchased a car or made plans to. I'm aware that I can only say that as a childless, young, globally transient individual and it's not a viable strategy for everyone but I like to frame my leeching rides from friends in my teens as being environmentally conscious.
ComposerNate said @ 1:28pm GMT on 20th May
My 2kw scooter burns ~$0.40/0,60 of electricity for every 100kms/62miles. Gas prices in Virginia are $3.48 a gallon, so my math says I am getting the VA financial equivalent of 539mpg. In Europe at 1,49 a gas liter then 0,40 L/100km.
cb361 said @ 5:47pm GMT on 20th May [Score:1 Insightful]
You know what? Fuck humanity. We're far too short-sighted and self-obsessed to fly to the stars. I think I'll just accept that, instead of hoping that in some weird way and for unknown reasons we'll suddenly get our shit together in the future. Before it's too late. It's quite liberating not having to worry about sorting garbage any more, or driving an electric car. Let's just hurry up and use all the oil, so we can devolve back to a permanent medieval society.
ComposerNate said @ 6:01pm GMT on 20th May [Score:1 Funny]
Have you considered converting your nihilism to homosexuality?
cb361 said @ 7:29pm GMT on 20th May
I found a similar solution, but without the need to sharpen up my wardrobe. Robot Unicorn Attack!
arrowhen said @ 6:23pm GMT on 20th May
The thing that pisses me off is that we probably won't reach full-on Mad Max/Waterworld levels of post-apocalyptic barbarism until after I'm too old to enjoy it.
cb361 said @ 6:28pm GMT on 20th May
Nobody's stopping you from starting early.
arrowhen said @ 6:32pm GMT on 20th May
Are you kidding? You know how many different permits you'd need to build even a SMALL Bartertown?
cb361 said @ 6:37pm GMT on 20th May [Score:1 Interesting]
Just call it ScripTown, and build it in a red state.
GordonGuano said @ 11:38pm GMT on 20th May
I'd call it Midgets and Mongoloids and make Thunderdome a dinner show, like Medieval Times, but with more chainsaws.
mechanical contrivance said @ 11:56pm GMT on 20th May
Replace civil courts with gladiatorial combat.
GordonGuano said @ 2:52am GMT on 21st May [Score:1 Insightful]
You make replacing the entire legal code with the phrase, "bust a deal, face the wheel" sound like it would be a bad thing.
mechanical contrivance said @ 3:03am GMT on 21st May [Score:2]

In December 2002, a 60-year-old mechanic named Leon Humphreys was fined 25 for failing to notify the Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency (DVLA) that he had removed his Suzuki motorcycle from road usage. He refused to pay and claimed that he had the right, under medieval law, to choose a trial by combat with a "champion" nominated by the DVLA. This claim was denied by a court of magistrates in Bury St Edmunds, and he was further fined.
ComposerNate said @ 5:16pm GMT on 2nd Jun
While driving through the UK last week, I considered your pessimism for humanity may be from living around the hopeless sinkhole of London.
snowfox said @ 2:21am GMT on 25th May [Score:1 Underrated]
I just want you to know that this review is what finally pushed me and my father over the edge. When we finish converting the barn and have cash to spare, we're leasing one of these. And then I'm gonna masturbate in it.
mechanical contrivance said @ 3:29am GMT on 25th May
Put a towel down first.
arrowhen said @ 3:37am GMT on 25th May
Then turn on your webcam.
ENZ said @ 12:40pm GMT on 20th May
I'd be down for an electric car because ever damn car I've owned had the muffler fail when I couldn't afford to fix it, so they became roaring embarrassments. I just finished paying off my current one yesterday, so I can start saving up to get it fixed!
ComposerNate said @ 4:41pm GMT on 20th May
When people ask about my e-scooter, they usually stare a bit trying to figure out what's different looking about it, until I point out the oddly lacking muffler. Also no chain, 2kw motor being in the back wheel hub. Other than that, it looks like a Honda scooter, just quiet.
XregnaR said @ 6:36pm GMT on 20th May
Might just have to put together a Kickstarter to buy one. Can't afford one otherwise.
rhesusmonkey said @ 2:27am GMT on 21st May
Wait for Gen3.

I have similarly looked at the Model S or the Fisker Karma, and both are well above what I would consider "reasonably priced". I have also looked at the Leaf, Prius, and Volt, and none of those particularly appeal to me as the others do.
Currently I am on hiatus of using a car, and in the process of liquidating assets in order to reduce my enormous debt and therefore make it easier to migrate countries. In a few years I may come back and look for a used Model S, or by that time the Model X or Gen3 may be on the market, so who knows. All I know is that for the last ~6 months I have been using public transit and my own goddamned legs and am both healthier and have much more disposable income than when I was blowing $150/mo on insurance + $200/mo on gas.
ethanos said @ 7:26pm GMT on 20th May
okay... I know it is a little lame, but I have a prius plug-in, and since I rarely drive, and since most of my trips are under 10 miles (its range in good weather), I never buy gas. And, as the guy says, the acceleration is pretty good in electric mode.
cb361 said @ 5:43pm GMT on 21st May
Just a minute. How does a cartoonist afford a sportscar?
arrowhen said @ 6:08pm GMT on 21st May [Score:1 Informative]
"As of 2010, The Oatmeal got more than four million unique visitors a month. In 2012, its annual revenue was around $500,000, 75% from merchandising and the rest from advertising."

XregnaR said @ 6:29pm GMT on 21st May
HoZay said @ 7:05pm GMT on 21st May
Wow, talent + engaging personality pays off!

Wish I could find some encouragement in that.
cb361 said @ 7:58pm GMT on 21st May
Impressive, for something I'd never heard of.
arrowhen said @ 8:13pm GMT on 21st May
Yeah, I hadn't either.
HoZay said @ 5:48pm GMT on 21st May
Cartooning must be a hobby.
yogi said @ 8:39am GMT on 22nd May
I've had a Leaf for a couple/three years now. Great car.
maryyugo said @ 8:12pm GMT on 24th May
It's very pretty but it's reliability is undetermined, it's too expensive, resale valus in unknown, longevity is unknown, and range is very limited.
maryyugo said @ 8:12pm GMT on 24th May
Yikes. sorry four da typoose. I am uzed two an edittor.
mechanical contrivance said @ 3:28am GMT on 25th May
The unknowns won't always be unknown.
HoZay said @ 4:13am GMT on 25th May
Like all breakthrough technology.
fishhat said @ 2:34pm GMT on 25th May
Its reliability is as undetermined as that of any new car model containing new components. Its price is comparable to that of other cars with comparable amenities. It can go 265 miles according to the EPA. That may not be enough for you, but it's not "very limited". In real-world driving, people I know have topped 300 miles (with the 85kwh pack). That's as far as most cars can go on a tank. It takes longer to charge than it does to fill a gas tank, but you can get electricity pretty-much anywhere there are people, so I think it's a wash in terms of practicality (ignoring externalities of course, as right-wingers so love to do.)

As far as resale value: go ahead, try to buy a used one. Good luck with that.

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