Tuesday, 27 June 2017

This Hipster Marriage Announcement From The New York Times Is The Most Insufferable Yet

quote [ And so we meet again. I know I've said this before, but this time I mean it – this is easily, without question, the worst New York Times marriage announcement to date. The amount of submissions I got expressing reader disdain for this couple was so overwhelming that I had to bring this series out of retirement. ]

I thought it was the Onion. Nope.

Category is because this should be a punishable crime.

The original: http://www.nytimes.com/2016/06/19/fashion/weddings/nathaniel-peters-barbara-jane-sloan-wedding-sound-of-music.html
[SFW] [crime & punishment] [+4 Funny]
[by Abdul Alhazred@5:30pmGMT]


Bleb said @ 7:07pm GMT on 27th Jun [Score:5 Insightful]
This writer is trying too hard. He's almost as insufferable as the announcement he's mocking.
milkman666 said @ 7:15pm GMT on 27th Jun [Score:2 Insightful]
I'm the last person to criticize anyone about overly purple prose. I understand the Will DeFries has to show some value added. This marriage announcement though is like a good steak. Just needs some salt and a deft roast, but stay out of its way. Its good on its own.
Dienes said @ 8:51pm GMT on 27th Jun
Just comes off as so bitter about a happy hipster couple.
Kama-Kiri said @ 1:05am GMT on 28th Jun
I see your point, but I think the brute force sarcasm can be fairly justified given the insufferable tone of the original. I more or less reacted in the same way he did, so...

I'm sure the couple are happy together and I wish them well, but it really does come off like two rich, idle, coddled, and over-educated twits announcing how pleased they are with themselves.

As God is my witness I will not fault my fellow man for baking cookies or reading classic English literature, it's making a virtue of it that rankles.
milkman666 said @ 7:02pm GMT on 27th Jun
"She appreciated both liturgical music and Ella Fitzgerald, as he did." The fuck you trying to do to me. I almost had an aneurysm. A reality dysfunction in the brain trying to process, this. This. Ill say it, harbinger. Of what, i have no idea, but i fear it same as a man would fear a cat that would recite the Our Father.
Kama-Kiri said @ 1:18am GMT on 28th Jun
I feel it too, this fear. And distrust. Of saintliness. People so beatific their faces glow. While their bright, pitying eyes shout "I am Going to Heaven and You are Not!".
knumbknutz said @ 7:21pm GMT on 27th Jun
He should of let me do the wrinting for him. I would have done some doozy metaphors like -

"He proposed to her, with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it."

It was love at first sight, as he gazed into her eyes, which were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center."
mechanical contrivance said @ 7:28pm GMT on 27th Jun
A wedding announcement is a really dumb thing to get upset about, especially if it's about people you don't know.
Bruceski said @ 8:32pm GMT on 27th Jun
"Hey, let's get one of those overly flowery and TMI wedding announcements!"
"OMG that's so cheezy it's perfect! I love it!"

Meanwhile in the shadows a hater lurks, blog at the ready.
cb361 said @ 10:02pm GMT on 27th Jun
Lurkers gotta lurk.
EvilNinjaX24 said @ 8:25pm GMT on 27th Jun
When the Purge goes down, they're first to go. The only problem will be the line you have to get into to take a wack at these pretentious motherfuckers.
arrowhen said @ 9:34pm GMT on 27th Jun [Score:1 Underrated]
I think concentric circles would be more efficient: torches in the center, followed by pitchforks, with fist-shaking mutterers and brick-hurlers making up the outer ring.
EvilNinjaX24 said @ 4:26am GMT on 28th Jun
I can dig it.
rhesusmonkey said @ 5:19am GMT on 28th Jun
eggboy said @ 12:55am GMT on 29th Jun
Finally a place for us fist-shaking mutterers
lilmookieesquire said @ 3:51am GMT on 28th Jun
Is it his own announcement? This dude's Instagram is a treasure trove of hipsterness garnished with a side of frat. This man should be criticizing noone. https://www.instagram.com/WilldeFries/
XregnaR said @ 12:00pm GMT on 28th Jun
Meh. You know what else is hipster as fuck, yo?

Taking the piss out of what makes other people happy.
kylemcbitch said[1] @ 12:13pm GMT on 28th Jun
I am not sure when SE got a stick up it's ass, but here we go:

"Is it his own announcement? This dude's Instagram is a treasure trove of hipsterness garnished with a side of frat."

Not to defend some dude I don't know at all, but you're on drugs. Nothing on that link shows a hipster. I will give you the frat boy angle, though.

"Meh. You know what else is hipster as fuck, yo?

Taking the piss out of what makes other people happy."

Know what's fun? Taking the piss out of things that make people happy.
yogi said @ 4:50pm GMT on 29th Jun
These are actually not that far out of the norm. In fact, there was a very adorable one about 10 to 15 years ago where a couple was FINALLY getting married after a long engagement engendered by an accident where the to-be bride had been hit by a bus' mirror because she was standing too close to the kerb. It was funny, endearing, and scary.

Like most marriages...

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