Thursday, 2 November 2017

ASKSE: What gender or sexual double standard do you hate/have you experienced the most

quote [ Just what it says. There are double standards all over the place. What have my fellow se members experienced/what pissers you off the most. Share your stories. ]

I'll jump start it. Me watching my kids is thought of as temporary until the wife returns or is done with what shes doing and as babysitting or giving wife a break... BS we both pull equal weight.

Hoping to spark open discussion and that this won't fall to the troll wars/petty arguments.
[NSFW] [ask SE] [+3]
[by Mythtyn@10:11pmGMT]

Comments

Morris Forgot his Password said @ 3:35pm GMT on 3rd Nov [Score:3]
My wife has no problem coming in my mouth but If I come in hers she gets annoyed.
Mythtyn said @ 3:37pm GMT on 3rd Nov [Score:1 Sad]
Yeah...welcome to the club. Actually mine has an aversion to all things oral. :(
Mikhail_16 said @ 9:59pm GMT on 4th Nov
Same here :(
knumbknutz said @ 12:41am GMT on 5th Nov
It comes with the wedding ring
HoZay said @ 4:12am GMT on 5th Nov
I feel bad for y'all.
eggboy said @ 11:39pm GMT on 2nd Nov [Score:2 Interesting]
As a sailor I'm happy the whole "women and children first" nonsense has gone the way of the dodo. All lives should be treated as having equal value.

I like how now men can be treated as sex objects. I know a lot of women don't like it but as a bloke it's nice to have the option occasionally. The best thing to ever happen for straight men was the gay pride revolution. Instead of just having the one way to be a man, and anything else is an abberation it's freeing up people to live more as themselves and giving them better cheaper options for taking care of themselves.

The gravitas that comes with a deeper voice is not to be underestimated, it can be disconcerting to notice more qualified women's opinions be brushed aside in favor of my own, but it sure is handy using the voice to command unruly children or idiot mates.

The psysical strength of a man is pretty fucken tops too. A lot of avenues of employment you just can't do for long without it. You are more likely to get cunts trying to fight ya though which I'm pretty bloody well sick of. Some places it's not even worth going out on the piss, cause you've got to constantly keep your guard up of you"ll end up in a biff.
smoki said @ 9:13pm GMT on 4th Nov
But women and children first makes sense from the viewpoint of species. Eggs are precious, sperm is plentiful.
I know humanity has moved to a point where we should say all lives have equal value, but because of above and billions of years of evolution, I think "women and children first" is really deeply ingrained.
eggboy said @ 11:45pm GMT on 4th Nov [Score:1 Interesting]
A lot of that, like the captain going down with the ship, comes from the old pommie chivalry I think, back when Britannia ruled the waves. You get an Italian captain, like on the Costa Concordia don't be expecting any of that.
These days there's plenty of lifeboat seats for everyone, and the crew is not strictly male.
smoki said @ 4:43pm GMT on 8th Nov [Score:1 Yep ]
Understood. :) But OK, the "women and children" first rule is in the benefit of the society as a whole, it was always questionable whether it would be in the interest of the individual captain when it comes to it.

There's a quite interesting movie that comes to my mind, about a guy who tries to save himself rather than his wife and child in an (eventually completely harmless) avalanche and some consequences of his impulsive reaction.
eggboy said @ 1:26am GMT on 9th Nov
Woop, internet deleted my reply, and I'm on mobile so fuck it, have an upvote instead.
HairySack said @ 2:49am GMT on 7th Nov [Score:2]
I’m a bisexual male. There is a stigma that bi men don’t exist or that we are really gay men who are leaving one foot in the closet. Either way I find myself having to defend my sexuality far more often than I should.
nitromaniac said @ 10:21pm GMT on 2nd Nov [Score:1 Underrated]
My wife is the primary income in our household. I'm a contract instructor at the local college. People I tell this to think I'm a lazy piece of shit freeloader.
Mythtyn said @ 10:26pm GMT on 2nd Nov
We kicked around one of us staying home when my daughter was first born. It was very quickly decided it would be me if we went that route (we didn't). Shes was more established in her position and it was more secure. Every time we talked about it people would tend towards that or be very dismissive towards me staying home. For what its worth we both chose to stay at work and we both earn about the same-me slightly more, but my position is more volatile.
ooo[......7 said @ 10:22pm GMT on 2nd Nov [Score:1 Sad]
I had an 11 year relationship end in June this year partly because she wanted to be a stay at home mom for the kid(s) we haven't even had, yet she got her life set up as the full time worker and I as the part time.

Ideally I would have been Mr. Mom and she would earn most of the money but she just couldn't handle that.
King Of The Hill said @ 4:32pm GMT on 3rd Nov
Hate to say it.. Better to find out that before you wed her or had kids. I can testify what a bitch it is when your career girl decides arbitrarily after marriage to just up and quit her job... years before we had a kid.

The amount of bitterness and resentment that brewed was normal I suppose but also toxic.
mechanical contrivance said @ 4:44pm GMT on 3rd Nov
If you had the opportunity to retire young, wouldn't you?
King Of The Hill said @ 11:08pm GMT on 3rd Nov
I think pride would get in my way.
Headlessfriar said @ 10:54pm GMT on 2nd Nov [Score:1 Underrated]
I've gotten a lot of "you're such a good dad" when I'm holding my kids in public, and I notice no one ever says she's a great mom just because she has them in public.
Anonynonymous said @ 11:43pm GMT on 2nd Nov [Score:1 Interesting]
Well, it's a form of soft bigotry of lowered expectations. My cousin has her own law firm. And she gets comments like "strong", "tough", "independent" all the time when chatting with clients, something that she admits rubs her the wrong way. Where if she was a man, she would've never gotten these borderline condescending remarks.
Bruceski said @ 5:23am GMT on 3rd Nov [Score:1 Underrated]
Parenting
sacrelicious said @ 9:14pm GMT on 12th Nov
when my uncle got divorced he had a hell of a time getting custody of his son... even though his ex-wife didn't even want custody.
JWWargo said @ 8:46pm GMT on 5th Nov [Score:1 Informative]
I ended up talking about this post for the second half of my latest episode of the SE Digest. Shared some experiences and thoughts and what not, much too much to transcribe here but if you're interested in hearing I start at 20 minutes 45 seconds.

(Apologies for the shameless plug)
mechanical contrivance said @ 3:49pm GMT on 7th Nov [Score:1 Funsightful]
Never be ashamed of owning butt toys.
Jodan said @ 11:17pm GMT on 2nd Nov
My wife is in the army, and I'm a grad student in history what do you ant to know.
sacrelicious said @ 9:11pm GMT on 12th Nov [Score:1 Yep ]
when the time comes, is she prepared to defend your thesis?
Mythtyn said[1] @ 11:37pm GMT on 2nd Nov
What you both see on a regular basis/thing that pisses you that something of that nature has to be put up with.
Jodan said @ 1:26am GMT on 3rd Nov
For me its that arts majors are weak and unemployable. I am not done my degree and I am employed in my field. To me competence, versatility and ability to communicate are more important than the name your degree.

For my wife, she constantly complains that people think they can only be one thing. She can be very feminine but she is quite at home behind a C9. Manly things aren't scary and feminine things are fun too. She finds that women tend to look down on her for being in the army, she has been called a warmonger a lesbian and a member of the patriarchy.

To us strength is not masculine or feminine everyone is encountering a world where you need to be strong to endure it, but also a place where you can find joy, purpose and meaning if you look for it and are willing to accept it.
lilmookieesquire said @ 1:48am GMT on 3rd Nov
I was working as a sashimi chef in a japanese fussion restaurant.
I got a job at a tech company.

I was invited to do each of those jobs.

People’s reactions and opinions of me shifted drastically from each job. Several girls that showed absolutely no interest in me previously, started flirting with me and guys tended to treat me with more respect.
lilmookieesquire said @ 1:56am GMT on 3rd Nov [Score:1 Underrated]
Also baby boomers who think they are successful because their house quintupled in value when adjusted for inflation.
docsavage said @ 1:58am GMT on 3rd Nov [Score:1 Funny]
I now respect you and want to flirt with you as a guy... lol

Sadly, you are no longer a sashimi chef??

I am curious about how folks reactions/perceptions changed from job to job. I personally would respect someone who was a chef of any sort....
lilmookieesquire said[1] @ 2:03am GMT on 3rd Nov
I actually still work there when someone calls off sick. It’s cool because it’s an entirely different job. No thinking; more physical work; awesome teamwork. It’s a nice shift.

I’m not Asian so I get weird looks. And that double standard does NOT annoy me. I’d never eat sashimi at a place that would employ me.
docsavage said @ 2:19am GMT on 3rd Nov
"I'd never eat sashimi at a place that would emply me".... I feel that needs more explanation, lol
lilmookieesquire said @ 4:06am GMT on 3rd Nov
I’m the Charlie Chaplin of the fish preparation world.
mechanical contrivance said @ 1:14pm GMT on 3rd Nov
A socialist who never talks and has a Hitler mustache?
lilmookieesquire said @ 1:43pm GMT on 3rd Nov
Or was it Mark Twain of the fish world.
HoZay said @ 2:36pm GMT on 3rd Nov [Score:1 Insightful]
Groucho is the Marx you're looking for.
lilmookieesquire said @ 6:23pm GMT on 3rd Nov
Groucho Marx of the fishworld makes absolutely no sense.

You guys are so weird.
mechanical contrivance said @ 7:27pm GMT on 3rd Nov
Groucho of the Fish World sounds like an awesome Saturday morning TV show from the 70s.
zarathustra said @ 2:02am GMT on 3rd Nov
I was a extremely handsome and well built young man and was subject to actions by women that could have gotten a man arrested if it had been the other way around. Physically grabbed in public, followed home, attempted seduction when I was underage, pressured for sex by a female boss, etc. In law school I dated a very wealthy older women and her family assumed I was just an airheaded boy toy so we always made a point of talking about law when we visited them. It did make me sensitive to the things women go through.
ifrit said @ 3:01am GMT on 12th Nov
I don't have to deal with gender double standards cuz I'm an Asian male and I've been told I'm not really a man so I never have to be subjected to the thought of being the bread winner, being strong, being threatening to children or women. I'm not considered strong so I'm not considered a threat.
mechanical contrivance said @ 2:33pm GMT on 13th Nov
Where do you live?
ifrit said @ 11:55pm GMT on 13th Nov
Vancouver, Canada. It doesn't even matter here since Asians outnumber everyone so we're really just pushing the stereotypes onto ourselves.
mechanical contrivance said @ 1:59pm GMT on 14th Nov
Your customs are strange to me.

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